Tune in, turn on, get off
Issue #33
Hit all the right notes with this music-motored vibrator
By Lori Finkel
Published: September 1st, 2007 | 12:00am
You know that scene in Private Parts where a caller gets off to Howard Stern’s voice by straddling her home-entertainment speaker? The OhMiBod music-powered vibrator is kind of like that. Songs that you’ve always liked, you’ll absolutely come to adore.
Yet despite the product’s promo jargon, the OhMiBod vibrator isn’t really “music-powered.” The vibe hooks up to your iPod and pulsates with the rhythm of your music, but it actually runs on two AA batteries. A little misleading — I was hoping music could solve our energy crisis.
The hard part (pun intended) is making sure your music is sexy enough to turn you on, because you really do have to be a diehard music lover for this toy to be effective. In the event your iPod alone isn’t tickling your fancy, the ample OhMiBod package — which includes the vibrator, a splitter for headphones, and a pink velvet drawstring vibrator pouch — also comes with a screw-on end cap for turning the OhMiBod into a non music–powered freestanding vibrator with varying speeds.
I would recommend spending an extra $12 to get the Softskin penis sleeve to slip over your vibe. With a silky soft surface, veins, and a head, it feels a lot like the real McCoy but won’t roll over and give up on you as easily.
Be wary if your bedroom walls are paper-thin because quiet this vibrator is not. If roommates say they’ve heard a ruckus, tell them you’ve got a nocturnal pet bumble bee. You can somewhat control the noise level and intensity by raising or lowering the volume on your iPod, though if the volume is too low, the pulses will lag behind the music or not throb at all.
I found the most stimulating music to be upbeat tempo music. What to avoid: 50 Cent was intensely painful; the Decemberists was a boring, blue-ballin’ tease; and I’d be afraid for your reproductive safety to experiment with Yoko Ono. Techno provides a steady though spiritless buzz, so, as always with techno, it’s your call.
Since the product comes with the whole iPod gimmick, the OhMiBod would make a great present for those who like music, are too shy to buy their own sex toys, or enjoy an orgasm. So pretty much, everyone.
TOP 5 SONGS TO DITTLE
YOUR SKITTLE
1. “A Boy Like Me” by Patrick Wolf
2. “Skin is, My” by Andrew Bird
3. “Alien She” by Bikini Kill
4. “Proofs” by Mates of State
5. “We Share Our Mother’s Health” by The Knife
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