Illustration by: Kristina Sacci
Occupational hazards
Issue #26
Dealing with groupies is a fun part of being a rock star so long as those number-one fans keep their distance. Unless, of course, they’re really hot.
By Kurt Soller
Published: December 1st, 2005 | 12:00am
“Some people really like to get in your personal stuff,” says Antigone Rising guitarist Kristen Henderson. “They feel like they know you.”
Whether they’re referred to as groupies, überfans, or COGs (“Creepy, Old Guys” who shamelessly promote their fan status by wearing pins touting the acronym), Antigone Rising has experienced the entire spectrum. They have old-school fans who have logged as many as 10,000 miles to see them and newbies who think the girls are rich due to a few TV appearances and a major-label contract.
There’s no such thing as completely negative attention, and there are a number of perks that come with rocker status and a potentially obsessive fan base. “There will be a really hot guy in the front row dancing, a German doctor, and then you give him some whiskey and make out with him for a little while,” says Donnas bassist Maya Ford.
Like the glorified guy rockers and their girl orgies waiting backstage, female musicians just want to have fun — especially if the number of hot, young fans outnumbers the old men whom Ford thinks of when she hears the word “groupie.”
“You gotta have some fun,” Ford says. “Some nights you just want to have fun, want to party — and there’ll be two cute guys in the front row.” Unfortunately, after a night of making out with a fan in Albuquerque for a couple of minutes, the fan returned home to Sweden and went on national television to tell Scandinavian legions that he spent the whole night with the bassist of the Donnas. “You don’t want people spreading rumors about you,” Ford says. “But dealing with groupies is like dealing with laundry — it’s something you gotta do.”
Though a harmless TV spot may damage your reputation, suggesting bodily harm is a bit different. Sisters Kristen and Cathy Henderson of Antigone Rising have had to deal with scary letters and phone calls to their parents. “The death threats in the mail and that kind of stuff is a little bit disconcerting,” Kristen Henderson says. “But we’ve also had fans give us underwear or offer us money for our underwear.”
The latter scenario, rather than the former, is one of the fun and perhaps even egotistical aspects of being onstage in front of an adoring public. When Antigone Rising was in Rochester, New York, a male fan offered them $20 each for their sweaty drawers. The ladies declined. “I might give you clean underwear for 20 bucks but not my dirty underwear I just played in,” Kristen Henderson says.
Antigone supported their early tours by auctioning off guitar straps for about $250 and once offered up lead vocalist Cassidy’s bra to a high bidder for $500. They also made another $500 by auctioning off one of the wedding dresses they had during a costumed New Years’ Eve show.
“We were indie for so long and touring full time before we signed a record deal, so it really was just us and them,” says Kristen Henderson. “We know a lot of our fans really well. We see some of our fans more often than we see our family and friends.” And in return, the fans sometimes even get a piece … of underwear.
For newer bands, the idea of having such an intense fan base is something discussed yet not quite revered. “It could get a little creepy, but it’s great when people love your music and they’re just really big fans of the music,” says Charlotte Froom, bassist of the Like. “A lot of the time, that might not be the case — ’cause we’re three young girls.”
The Like heard about the COG pins from the Donnas, who were just one group to offer advice to the newer and younger band about staying safe. “I’ve heard lots of stories of scary things that have happened, so everyone told me to get a P.O. box and not give away your address,” Froom says. “I know a lot of people with stalkers.”
Ford has more advice from the Donnas for newer artists treading the waters between regional fans and groupiedom: “Maybe if you are bored, it’s OK to make out, but try to make out in public and only make out with the really hot ones.”
Of course, inquiring minds want to know. What about the straight-up sex aspect of groupie culture? When Antigone Rising gets asked back to hotel rooms or invited out for drinks, they pretend they’re not really sure what their admirer is getting at. As for the Donnas, the girls are sick of seeing their fans naked, especially out of a sexual context. “They don’t realize that you’re a person and that you don’t actually want naked pictures of them,” Ford says. “They don’t respect your boundaries.”
It’s a good thing the Like isn’t having sex with their fans, because that might qualify as statutory rape — on the part of the fan. When one fan announced on message boards that he would be seeing the Like in New York City for his birthday, he eagerly arrived early. To the band members’ surprise, not only was this fan the only one lined up five hours early, he was also 50 years old. That was a rare exception, though. “Our fans are mainly teenage girls, so they’re not really groupies,” Froom says.
As for electro-pop diva DJ Annie, she keeps it just above the waist. “I went on a Scandinavian tour and had to sign lots of little guys’ arms and bellies,” she says. “You tend to sign a lot of different bellies.”
There’s also the rare potential for romance, as was the case with Ford, who once dated a fan long-distance after she met him at a show. But in Annie’s case, getting hit on is sometimes a bit creepy. “There was this one guy who was writing me all of the poems on his feeling about nature and then coming to all of my DJ gigs and dancing really slowly,” she says.
Regardless of fan base, age range, or poetic talent, the consensus among girl rockers is that their male counterparts are doing a lot more groupie-groping than the girls. “As a guy band, it’s a little easier to drag everyone backstage and have a good time,” Kristen Henderson says. “When you’re the female band, you don’t want to put anybody in a compromising position.”
So the question of “how far is too far?” is left in the hands of each artist, unsure of whether to bring that make-out session backstage, give out an address, or potentially end up on Scandinavian television.
“They are quite dedicated, and that’s good — but it might get dangerous, you never know,” Annie says. It’s the risk you take being a rock star.
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