Daniller, Lydia
Relationship Rundown
Issue #26
Michelle Tea & MC Katastrophe
By Jen Hazen
Published: December 1st, 2005 | 12:00am
Michelle Tea and Rocco Kayiatos (aka Katastrophe) met while touring with the dyke spoken-word troupe, Sister Spit, in 1999 and have been going strong ever since. How the hell does this couple make their relationship work while in the public eye? The dynamic duo talks to Venus about their romantic formula in addition to fame, fans, and 40s of malt liquor.
Even though you’re both successful, do either of you sometimes feel like “just Rocco’s girlfriend” or “just Michelle’s boyfriend?”
Michelle Tea: At times, I definitely feel like Rocco's significant other. No one in his hip-hop community knows anything about the writing I do. I don't mind, though. I'm really excited about Rocco's music. It's oddly nice to just relax and let him be onstage.
Rocco Kayiatos: We have been in each other’s lives and communities long enough that I don't feel that way so much anymore. In some of her literary circles, I definitely feel it, but I don't mind because I am proud to be her boyfriend. I like having separate space for us to shine.
How does all of the attention from admirers affect your relationship?
MT: It was hard when we first hooked up, because Valencia, which is pretty clearly a memoir, had just come out. I was getting a lot of attention. [In the book] I’m running off and having sex with girls in cars and bathrooms, getting wasted. It gave the impression to readers that perhaps I was only a 40oz. of malt liquor away from fucking them under a table somewhere. It's different now because there is balance. Neither of us trips out on the attention the other one gets.
RK: When we first hooked up, I had a really hard time having people come up and tell my girlfriend, while I am holding her hand, that they were planning on stalking her. I felt threatened when people would show up at the bookstore to give her flowers or even when girls would stare at her for too long. I was young and I didn't know how to deal with myself. Now I feel bad that I tainted that experience for her. As I get more attention and people flirt with me, or write stories about wanting to do it with me, she is totally cool with it.
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