Get This Issue #23

By Amber Drea
Published: March 1st, 2005 | 4:21pm

‘The Idiot’s Guide To Enraging Tori Amos Fans’
First, write a mockumentary about a guy who thinks he is Tori Amos. Then make him an aggressive, foul-mouthed asshole and add a cast of goofy, stereotypical characters. Finally, avoid plot or any references to Tori Amos other than her name. The result: Far Too Gone, a low-budget movie by director Brian LaBrecque (who plays the lead role), set in Seattle. Though amusing, the special-edition DVD (released February 8) is sure to find its audience limited to stoners and misled Tori fans.

Where was dating super heroine Terrifica when you needed her? The Brooklynite frequents bars wearing a mask and cape in attempt to rescue ladies from Mr. Wrong, but even if you live in NYC, chances are she won’t be able to save you. So the next time you get burned, try BreakupChronicles.com. Lisa Steadman, the L.A.-based self-proclaimed Relationship Journalist™, publishes true stories of heart trauma written by herself and other contributors of all genders and sexualities. These funny and painfully real tales are the perfect reminder that the best way to heal from a breakup is to move on.

More than just a yes or no answer
“Radio 8 Ball,” a recently resurrected weekly show on Olympia, Washington’s public radio station (89.3), gives advice through indie rock, folk, and pop music. Listeners call in and ask a question, and host Andras Jones spontaneously picks a CD, anything from Mirah to XTC, and hits the random button. When the song finishes, the caller, Jones, and co-host Tammy Tillinghast each offer his or her own interpretation of the lyrics regarding the specific concern. Listen at Kaosradio.org from 8-9 p.m. PST the last Tuesday of every month, or seek advice anytime at Radio8ball.com.

You won’t find bikini-clad girls draped over cars here
General Motors promised $1 million, paid over three years, to Women In Film (WIF), a 20,000-member international organization for lady filmmakers. The money will fund projects such as documenting the industry’s female visionaries, completing movies by women that have already been started, and providing scholarships to young Latina directors. GM benefits by having their vehicles appear in films geared toward a female audience and their name on every WIF program and application.

Guilt-free drinking!
The only time I ever regret having five vodka tonics is the next morning when my head is exploding and I’m running to the bathroom every 10 minutes. Two new products make it easy to avoid these dreaded symptoms: Hangover Prevention Formula (perfectequation.net) and Sober-X (sober-x.com). A pill made with B vitamins and an all-natural supplement extracted from the prickly pear, HPF must be taken two hours after consuming anything containing fiber and two hours before drinking alcohol and lasts 72 hours. Sober-X is a dermal patch that allows the antioxidants (milk thistle, artichoke, green tea, and vitamin C) to absorb directly into your skin, supposedly working faster than pills. The patch only lasts 12-24 hours after your last drink, which is fine for a one-night party, but if you’re planning a three-day drinking binge, opt for the pill.

See your history in the cards. The Women’s History Deck (womenshistorydeck.com) is a set of standard-sized playing cards, each depicting a lady who has made an important contribution to science, politics, or the arts from ancient times to the present. Interpreted by 54 different artists, the portraits include the obvious choices Jane Goodall and Frieda Kahlo as well as more surprising selections like Martha Stuart and the Virgin Mary. Project curator Darlene Schaper plans to donate decks to elementary schools around the country in hopes of establishing women’s history programs in early education.