Amelie Gillette
Issue #36
The Onion ‘Hater’ columnist thinks Ashton Kutcher sucks and women are funny
By Dana Stewart
Published: June 1st, 2008 | 3:16pm
In her weekly Onion column, “The Hater,” Amelie Gillette heaps snarky, insightful criticism on various aspects of pop culture and has become something of a cult legend. Common targets for ridicule include Rachael Ray, Top Chef's Ted Allen, Jennifer Lopez, Sex and the City, or almost anything on MTV. Her most recent target of livid scorn: Ashton Kutcher and his new show Pop Fiction.
Sometimes “The Hater” addresses more culturally significant topics. In her March 3, 2008, post (titled "Women Are Funny! [More Importantly, They're Pretty!]"), Gillette jumped into the debate recently sparked by Vanity Fair magazine. The April 2008 VF cover story profiles 12 top female comedians, in direct response to the “controversy” the magazine created with an early 2007 opinion piece by writer Christopher Hitchens titled “Why Women Aren’t Funny.”
"[Hitchens] said that men developed a sense of humor as an evolutionary trait and women don't need to because they're, like, pretty or something,” Gillette says. “I think part of his argument was that most female comedians are either lesbians or overweight or somehow generally unappealing."
VF’s response to this argument, their April ’08 cover story by TV critic Alessandra Stanley, fell far short of Gillette's expectations. "The article was just kind of dumb. It didn't have any, um, point,” she says. “It was like, 'Even Lisa Lampanelli combs her hair sometimes!' I just don't understand what it was trying to say."
To prove she doesn’t just hate, Venus Zine asked Gillette for a few of her favorite things. OK, we asked her for things she loves to hate too.
Top 3 TV shows
1. Peep Show: Everyone should drop everything (even babies, they'll be fine) and go to YouTube to watch episodes of this British sitcom right now. It's the funniest, most inventive show on TV.
2. Dexter is so addictive. Watch one episode, and you'll find you've watched seven. What does that even mean? I don't know, but it's accurate.
3. My So-Called Life: You have to say this in a women's zine when they ask you for lists — they even make you initial next to the Angela Chase Clause (as it's called) when you sign the contract — but in my case it also happens to be true.
Top 3 movies
1. Brick: The noir + high school thing gets me every time.
2. The Vanishing: The original Dutch one, which was creepy and haunting, not the American remake, which was annoying, and Keifer Sutherland–y.
3. Raising Arizona: I don't know why I like this movie as much as I do. Probably has something to do with that yodeling song.
Top 3 hates (in no particular order)
1. Terrible Movie/TV Accents. I'm from New Orleans, so this is a deeply ingrained hate, because every "New Orleans" accent in movies sounds like a Georgia accent said through a mouthful of tar. It's always over-the-top, and/or completely inaccurate, as is the case with most Movie/TV accents.
2. Candace Bushnell. I saw her do a reading once when I was in college and literally half of what she read was dialog tags. Every 5th word was "Tad said" or "Nico sighed" or "Kirby replied." It was exhausting being that annoyed for that long. Also, in case you didn't hear, “Sex and the City” ruined New York.
3. Oprah. I always think that everyone hates Oprah, but then some book that she mentioned about how clutter (obviously) makes you fat becomes a best-seller, and I am reminded that everyone, in fact, loves Oprah and will do whatever she says. Basically, what I'm saying is that it's important to register as an Oprah hater as often as possible. It's your pop-cultural duty.
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