Rock, She Writes (Part Two)  Issue #13 Issue #13

Jaan Uhelszki Thrives As a Pioneer Rocknroll Journalist

FROM VENUS NO. 13 (THE UNCUT VERSION) — Although her name might not be as well-known as those of her former officemates Lester Bangs and Dave Marsh, rock writer Jaan Uhelszki also played an integral part in Detroit's seminal music mag Creem in the '70s. After moving up from "subscription kid" to editor, Jaan wrote a number of prominent articles, including the infamous "I Dreamed I Was Onstage with KISS in My Maidenform Bra," which documented the night she performed with the band in full make-up. Over the years, she has contributed to New Musical Express, the Village Voice, Rolling Stone, Spin, and many other prominent publications, covering everyone from Lynyrd Skynyrd to Oasis. Jaan spoke to Venus from her home in Berkeley, California.

<a href="[Read'>http://venuszine.com/stories/interviews/000132.html">[Read Part One]</a>

<B>When you were starting out, rock writing wasn't really a career because it was a new field. The first wave of music journalists were doing it not for financial gain, but because they loved music. Are there any particular artists that inspired you to want to write about music?</B>

Since I had the job at the ballroom, I would see almost everybody. I loved the MC5 and I loved Led Zeppelin. I think it was probably their first show at the Grande Ballroom -- I took a break during their set and I was so transfixed and I stood the whole set with my elbows on Jimmy Page's amp. For me, it wasn't good enough to watch them. It was even better when you were downstairs writing about it. You got to relive it a second time and articulate it.

I liked Dr. John a lot and I loved the Allman Brothers. Of course, these are all the '70s bands. I loved Carly Simon, even though she was kind of mainstream. At that time, she was big and powerful and gawky and great. I liked Rush a lot. I liked KISS, unfortunately. [laughs] I always worry that's the thing that's going to be on my tombstone: "She was onstage with KISS." I've done so much better things than that, but that's the thing that comes back to haunt me.

<B>You're most famous for the KISS story, but what others are memorable to you?</B>

I guess it was Lynyrd Skynyrd's second to last tour, they were just tired and beat up and didn't want to be on the road anymore and were not that cordial to reporters, me included. But I was really captivated with Ronnie VanZant's, the singer's, spirit. He told me -- I think he was just 29 -- he never expected to see 30. He said he had a case of the Janis Joplin disease. I said, "No, no. You're just tired and depressed." Back to being a woman and enabling -- trying to talk him out of it. I didn't really exploit the quote in my story, although I did include it in the piece, and about nine months later he died in a plane crash. There were survivors, but he wasn't one of them. It was so surreal that he knew that about himself.

Years later, for the 20th anniversary of the death, Mojo called me -- not for that, but for something else. They wanted to commemorate their gig at Knebworth, the big festival in England, where Skynyrd blew everyone off the stage because they were so amazing live. I went down to Jacksonville, Florida and spent a week with the people who are still in Lynyrd Skynyrd, their parents. I visited the gravesite, talked to old teachers -- I just lived their life for a week. That story really haunted me. It became a ghost story. It was about how Ronnie VanZant would know he was going to die, how people claimed to see his ghost all the time -- his father included. I had hideous nightmares throughout the whole thing. There was just a little glimmer you could see behind the veil. There was something about how in touch we are with ourselves and our own mortality and how we can be our own psychics -- something as hokey as that, but it really got to me, that story. I just loved it.

My other favorite story was Oasis, not the biggest band in the world [at the time]. They were just like babies. They'd just come over here, and seemed so open and honest I liked them. I liked their spunk and drive. They could care less about what anyone thought, and had this quirky, devil may care attitude. I remember talking to Noel Gallagher and asking him questions like we were on a quiz show -- just rapid-fire, personal, outrageous, crazy questions -- and he answered every one of them. It was just fun.

And the Morrissey piece I love, too. I had no idea Morrissey was calling me. It occurred when I working for Rolling Stone Online. I was doing a Random Notes and Morrissey called -- without any warning -- saying he heard that I wanted to talk to him about some band he went to see. I was shocked; he never gives interviews and here he was calling me, without warning. I thought it was a friend of mine pretending to be Morrissey. I kept saying, "No, you're not Morrissey." [laughs] Because I had no idea who was calling. I think that really cracked him up. He kept asking me whether I was always this rude to my interview subjects. After I established that it was him, I kept him on the phone for a half-hour and asked him everything I could think of. He was dead honest, charming, so smart, and a joy to talk to. No airs at all. On his 40th birthday, his fans had a huge party for him at Los Angeles Roxy, with a big sign out front declaring "Morrissey's 40th birthday party" on the marquee. I had heard that he had driven by, saw it, and had a friend snap a picture of him under the sign. He was totally candid about it and told me the whole story. Unbelievable!

I like a lot of the Green Day stories I did because I like that band. I don't know whether it depends on whether you like the band a lot, if you like the story you've written. I had an editor once, Steve Stolder, who's at Amazon, who told me he thought the best stories came when you knew absolutely nothing about the subject. I tend to agree with him. You're wide-eyed and not jaded. You do, however, have to do your homework on them first.

When I went back to get my degree in history -- I graduated in '92 -- I really learned how to do research and take two things that were seemingly unrelatable and compare them and make a story of that. After I wrote about Hamiltonian democracy and Jeffersonian democracy, I knew I could write about anything. It really is the element of research. You just go listen to the stuff by somebody and read everything you can about them, given the time you can allot for the project. Then you're not an expert, but at least you're informed. As a music writer, in order to have some longevity, you've got to write about everything. I review rap and I review country sometimes, and I review the God-awful nu metal bands. You have to learn to do that.

<B>Are you interested in doing a book?</B>

Yeah, I really want to do that. I'm not sure what form it'll take. I don't want to rewrite <I>Almost Famous</I>. As we talked about those big personalities, a lot of those big personalities are still alive. [laughs] So I don't know if I want to be blackballed in my hometown, but I do intend to write a book.

<B>So you'd probably do an autobiography?</B>

I think I would do a fictionalized book, though. But I would ground it in the past and bring it forward.

<B>Is there any band you're interested in enough to write a biography?</B>

I've been asked a couple of times, but I've always turned it down, I think because I've always wanted my first book to be my own story or a mystery, or a thriller. I really love Metallica. They fascinate me, the personalities in there, because they're such opposites and the tensions between James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich are softened by Kirk Hammett. I really like that band a lot. I would consider that one. And I would love to write Iggy Pop's. I would ghost write for him because I was there for his heyday. My best friend used to go out with him, and we'd hitchhike to Ann Arbor when we were 17 so she could see him. I saw the very beginnings of the Stooges. I remember the day we came over and Nico was there. It was so sad for her -- for my friend! [laughs] I would love to do Iggy's book.

<B>I love the story in the Rockcritics.com interview where you said Iggy was at the Creem offices and Barry Kramer came in and put a garbage can over Iggy's head, and Iggy just sat there with it on.</B>

They had the same kind of off-kilter energy, and were both capable of being roaring assholes. The two of them -- it was like the right balance. They were totally balanced assholes. It was a scene to partake. It was one of those really rock moments. [laughs] I can still see Iggy's blond, beautiful hair flowing down his back with bits of paper [in it]. It was Lester's garbage can, so you know it was probably the worst one in the whole place. He was such a slob.

<B>I have these weird recurring dreams about Iggy Pop.</B>

My daughter has dreams about Iggy.

<B>How old is your daughter?</B>

Twenty-two. That went really, really quick. He's a really compelling man. If you ever have a chance to interview him... He's what they call an autodidact, where he's self-taught. The things he's interested in are so arcane and so compelling but he is just a really original thinker and doesn't talk like a schooled man, yet he's a really schooled, intelligent man. His parents were teachers. You know, he's from your neck of the woods [Ann Arbor, MI]. That would be a good roots story for you.

<B>Iggy lived in the same trailer park that my parents lived in when I was born.</B>

You're kidding!

<B>I found that out when I was reading <I>Please Kill Me</I> and at one point they say it's on Michigan Avenue, then they say it's on Carpenter. I'm like, "Oh, my God, it's the one on the corner." That's where my parents lived when I was born.</B>

Oh my God! You know, you have karma with that man. I think you should do it.

<B>That's why I have these strange dreams where he's this godfather figure where he talks to me and gives me advice and I wake up feeling refreshed and calm with this Zen feeling.</B>

That's very cool because he's a very strange guy. He was really self-absorbed back in the old days. At this stage in his life -- he just turned 55 -- I think he's more into, not giving back, but enlightening people. He's unbelievably bizarre. I saw him here a year ago and I went back to say hi and I brought Hayley, the daughter, and he was sitting there with this woman he's going out with who's a former flight attendant who looks like a drag queen. She's bigger than life, the most beautiful black woman, with these luscious lips and shiny make-up. And there he was, wearing a little pinkish fuschia skirt because he didn't bring another pair of pants for his blue jeans that got ringing wet after his show. And there he is in this little miniskirt and she looks like she's the one wearing the pants in the family. He's got this big, silly grin on his face and he just radiates.

That guy -- if I think the rich are different than you and I -- this guy, no matter who he was, he was going to be different than you or I. He is the one. I don't even have particularly good chemistry with him. I'll ask him questions, and he'll kind of demur, and I go, "Wait a second. I've been there for the whole thing. I know the answer. If you don't answer this, I'm answering it myself."

I was friends with Joey Ramone and Joey Ramone saw Iggy someplace and goes, "Isn't Jaan Uhelszki great?" and he goes [in dismissive voice], "She's OK." [laughs] But I'm so fascinated by his story because I think it's my story, too. Not because I'm so outlandish, but just that outsiders thing and coming from the same part of the world...

Before he retires, and God knows if he will or he won't, you just have to get that one in. I insist, especially because you have those dreams. Always listen to those dreams. Some of my best story ideas come from dreams. And when I was doing news all the time, I'd go, "Oh, and Perry Farrell just signed a new deal." It was as if I started working on the astral plane. That seems to happen when you get really tuned in. I'm always finishing stories in my sleep. I still do. If I can't think of an ending, I go sleep and go, "OK, can you end this thing for me?" You start relying on the subconscious more, the longer you do it.

<B>What kind of stuff have you been doing lately? You mentioned Time-Life liner notes.</B>

Liner notes I love. I've done a few for them, as well as for Sony Legacy. I just did Gregg Allman liner notes for his Greatest Hits album.

<B>And you did Janis Joplin's Greatest Hits.</B>

I did two of hers. That was just a privilege. I love Janis Joplin. When she walked, the air moved differently. I saw her once at the Grande Ballroom and the atmosphere just crackled. Now, she was so much different than anybody else I'd ever met before.

Janis Joplin's sister insisted that a woman be involved in her liner notes project. That's how I got two of them. Ben Fong-Torres was doing them. I think he did part of them then suggested me to do a segment, so I got the job. When the second one came around, they came back and asked me to do that one, too. I was all over it.

I write for Soma. I've written for them for a long time. I do the occasional piece for Mojo, Alternative Press, Blender, Spin. I do freelance pieces for the San Jose Mercury News, which is a daily newspaper here. I review so many things for Amazon. I've always hated doing records reviews, and I've learned to love them -- or learned to like them, at least. Amazon informs a great many people online. It's a good thing to do if you have a specialty that nobody else likes. I do jam bands. God knows why. And they give me jam bands, and I don't even like jam bands. You just have to review them in their genre -- "Is this a good jam band or a bad jam band?"

<B>This is kind of off-topic, but what is your take on magazines like Venus and Rockrgrl that are trying to promote women in music? Do these magazines and things like Lilith Fair marginalize women further?</B>

Anything where you can get coverage on women is good. It does ghettoize women. But take Lilith Fair. I wouldn't have gotten to see the Pretenders that year had it not been for the Lilith Fair. And there are women who are not going to be written about. Until there's enough women on the staff of rock magazines, you're forced to have your own magazine that covers young women. As a money-making venture, it sucks. Again, not enough women are huge [enough] rock fans to go out and buy magazines just about women. And the other thing is, a lot of the reason women like rock music is because there's that whole sexual component. They have a crush on Scott Weiland or they have a crush on Jonathan Davis or whoever is the current heartthrob. I think the other shame is a lot of women don't like music made by women. It's a tough call. It's like, "Wait a second. Should we have a magazine about lady race car drivers or should we put them in the regular Car and Driver?" On some level, it's the same. There still aren't huge numbers of women artists. It's certainly not a 50/50 split. Maybe it's even a 20/80 split, and that would be generous.

<B>I think it's changing, but slowly.</B>

I feel like my daughter (and her friends) has a lot less stigma about things she can do and can't do. Not that she wants to be in a rock band, but I can't say she wouldn't. She's always thinking up names for rock bands. I never thought about being in a rock band, but then I'm not musical. The other thing is, I don't need a lot of attention. I think there's a certain personality type that needs to be in a rock band or be a standup comic. It's the same kind of dynamic. I don't think [women's magazines] hurt. I don't think it's a bad thing. I just wish there were a bigger audience for them. We'd all be making more money, right?

<B>To wrap up, what would you suggest to a girl who's interested in becoming a music journalist?</B>

How she'd go about doing it?

<B>Yeah.</B>

First of all, read a lot of rock magazines and see what they're writing about. Buy the magazines you want to write for. Don't even pitch stories unless you like the magazine, then keep at the editors. I know persistence pays off. It's happened in my own life. I've seen people who [succeeded] when I was an editor -- people who kept after me with great ideas and weren't too obnoxious -- not Courtney Love obnoxious -- but people who were at me often. I don't want people to act like polite old girls, but this is a trick that when I was at Addicted to Noise, my editor, Michael Goldberg, would say: "Calling someone 10 times is too many," which means you can call them nine times. You just have to be persistent. We had this slogan in the box at Creem that said, "We ain't got nothing you ain't got." The headline was, "Whaddya got?" It would encourage people to submit things. Everybody started out the same way. Nobody was Proust the first time they wrote something. You just get better the more you write. You have to write a lot. You have to pitch things a lot. You have to be relentless and you have to keep asking people to hire you.

If you want to get into newspaper writing, intern there. Get a job at a low level. Again, they always hire from within. Once there, if you want to write about music, start submitting things, even if you're in a different department. Never take no for an answer. Don't take no for an answer in interviews, either. Don't take no for an answer from a magazine you want to write for. Just keep at it, keep at it, keep at it. Persistence really pays off. Make yourself indispensable. Learn how to do everything and research everything. Never pretend you know what you're talking about if you don't. I interviewed a band as a favor to a publicist and I didn't do my research and the guy called me on it. I really learned my lesson, and I was way into my career. Just don't go unprepared because you make everybody look stupid. It's a terrible sinking feeling.

I think it is possible [to make it as a rock journalist]. It's still a good job. I've always made a living at it. I've never really been out there [desperate for work]. I'm not buying Chanel make-up all the time, but then sometimes I am. So, it's a good thing to do.

For more about Jaan, see <a href="www.jaanuhelszki.comwww.jaanuhelszki.com">www.jaanuhelszki.com</a> and <a href="www.rockcritics.com/jaan_uhelszki_interview_wowee.html"> www.rockcritics.com/jaan_uhelszki_interview_wowee.html</a>.




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