Image by Kara Hayes
Boner for Matt, birthday for Kim
Matt and Kim celebrate 16th and 21st birthday at Chicago's Subterranean
By Lori Finkel
Published: June 22nd, 2007 | 11:33am
June 14, 2007 in Chicago — To make up for the crappy treatment the Subterranean door staff gave to their customers that night, plus the extreme mediocrity of the two opening bands, it would take the power of an awesome headlining band to make it all better. It would take the super healing Band-Aid power of Matt and Kim.
After being brashly accosted by the bouncers while trying to get the Venus Zine photographer in the show (“Don’t stand there, get up the stairs NOW,” he yelled), we dodged shirtless, sweaty, flinging bodies for the Brooklyn-based folk punk band Dynamite Arrow and for the second band, Hyper Viper. Dynamite Arrow sounded like a depressed goat having its throat slit, and Hyper Viper at least had better stage presence, sharing the spotlight with a tiny toy robot that tottered around stage.
If you went thinking you’d have a fun, silly night of spasmic zombie dancing with your friends, you were s.o.l. If you weren’t in the mood to wear somebody else’s drink while being physically assaulted by a pit of sloppy drunk, pit-stained bike kids and sweat-glazed fratsters, you were also s.o.l. Try the balcony.
From the tops of everyone’s head, Matt and Kim’s set was a hearty gulp of sticky garage-pop dance-thrash goodness. To top it off, it was Kim’s birthday. First Dynamite Arrow announced it was her 16th birthday, then later on Hyper Viper said her 21st.
The club’s DJs were a great in between set filler. Thick-rimmed glasses-wearing Matt and pixie-like, rosy-cheeked Kim mouthed along to “Hey, we want some puuussy!” while they set up the drums and keyboard.
After they assumed their position on stage, Matt confessed to the crowd that while they got birthday massages that afternoon, he got a boner, and that if someone gave him a massage during the set, he might just get another one. So some girl up at the front grabbed a handful of his netherparts, to which Matt responded, “Hey, somebody just grabbed my balls!”
Dance hit “Yeah Yeah” played third, and the crowd went as wild as a copy of Girls Gone Wild Spring Break 2005. The set was short, but adorably sweet, with Kim grinning gratefully the entire time.
Kim, who’s known not to talk a lot on stage, mouthed into the mic, “This is the best birthday, ever!”
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Photos by Kara Hayes
Issue #25
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